Poetry Didn’t Save My Life

Katrina Kaye

Poetry didn’t save my life,
but we did swim naked together
in the lake up north one sunny afternoon
when we thought no one was looking,

and we’ve been caught more than once
sharing a cup of bitter coffee and overly sugared pie
at all night truck stops off the highway
along the hours of one a.m.

She brushed my hair the morning
of my grandfather’s funeral.

and sang with me in the passenger seat
on the drive from Bakersfield to Porterville
when the string of spotted horse
raced alongside us over the golden hills.

She’s the one who threw the jawbone
of the dead rabbit at my windshield.

No, poetry didn’t save my life,
but I’ve watched her save others.

She pulls bodies from the snow,
throws a line if they can’t reach her fingers,
and leaves them to sleep it off on my living room couch.

Just as I bring as many as I can gather
strapped tall atop the roof of car and
dragged through still burning field to her door.

I pass her gospel,
the most diligent of missionaries.

We are sisters,                     lovers,                   playmates,

co-conspirators,

we stand on opposite sides of the same bed
to balloon sheets and straighten comforter,

she encases my body with both arms
and recites childhood stories
as she rocks me to sleep
long after the boys are gone.

We are intertwined,
blonde streaking brown more discreetly
than the white of time.

She resides nestled
under skin inside bone,
tangled inside every vein of my forearm,
knotted into bent knees and calloused feet,

and late at night,
she whispers her stories in my ear
seeds I scrawl to page
before they slip back into the sheets.

I repay this kindness
by humming incantations in the cadence
she taught me

in every word I write,

in every sound I utter,

across every mile I travel.

And when she outlives me,
as all revered loves do,

she will miss her cockeyed collaborator
and rhapsodize eulogies
when no one remains to listen.

She didn’t find me,
resurrect me,
breath life back into me,
we’ve always been together,

here,                           one.

“Poetry didn’t save my life” is previously published in Catching Calliope Vol 1 Winter 2014.

Wing

Katrina Kaye

She stretches out,
lifting and lowering,
attempting to blend into background.

The magnificence of blue wing
is impossible to hide.
It is why they watch.

But she has an under coating,
dark brown spots and fine fur
blends to oak bark.

If she holds wings erect,
as opposed to flat,
she materializes to earth.

When she closes
herself to the sun,
like a brilliant iris
hidden by eyelid,
she becomes
her own.

The sparkle of blue metallic,
the flash and grab against sunlight,
is not her downfall,
it is what draws them,

but it is her underside,
the plain spots of ordinary wing
that keep her
free.

“Wing” is previously published in the collection, my verse…, published by Swimming with Elephants Publications, LLC in 2012.

On the Third Day

Katrina Kaye

I let myself bleed and
smeared derangements
over upturned lips,
but you loved me anyway.

Hard,

with a fist and a curse word,
taking no tenderness with this tear,
paying no attention to fresh stitches.

You murked in my puddles
as if you were used to the rain.

As if it was nothing new to wipe
fresh red from blue vein.

You didn’t let me sleep.

You were up before dawn
trying me on like a new shirt,
seeing how I stretched around you.

Thin skin over muscle and bone.

How pretty this human suit looks
when it is crumbled on the floor,
never given a moment to bend
into my own shape,
easier to just twist around you in the dark.

On the third day
you left me for dead,
dragged my body to your favorite roadside diner
propped me up in a shallow booth,
adjusted my arms and face
as though they still beat blood
paid for runny eggs and burnt toast.
Your treat;
your turn.

These sleeves were just long enough
to cover the bruises on my wrists,
this hair just straight enough
to hide the bags under my eyes.

You took a moment to smooth my lipstick,
with a tender thumb.

“On the Third Day” is previously published in The Fall of a Sparrow (2014) by Swimming with Elephants Publications and The Legendary Issue 39.