if

Katrina Kaye

if i curl
tight enough
in the hidden
hole between

awake and asleep

i can retain
warmth

if i am
still and silent
in the soft
space between

night and day

i can feel
my body beat
i can clear
my voice and
whisper my
intentions

if i stay here,
eyes closed,
mind uninterrupted
in the comfort between

oblivion and
sensibility

i can pretend
i have not
been forgotten

i can let
time turn her
face to the sun
and close
her eyes
to the light

my loneliness
will matter

my emptiness
will be realized

this is where
i find myself
where time is
relative and
the darkness
can’t get me

“if” is previously published in Rabbits for Luck (2016).

Dirt

Katrina Kaye

She used to bury me in the sand;

I was comforted
by the weight on my body.
How the beach cradled me,
the earth held me.

I never suffered the thought of claustrophobia
or the fear which comes from restrained limbs.

The sand,
a thick covering
like the oscillation of waves.

The dirt is not so different.
Cool against my skin,
softer than sand,
sweeter to taste,
more consoling in the way
it held every part of me.

I could fight it,
squirm and struggle.

But lying here,
a well nourished seed,
letting each shovelful of supple
thick dirt fall on my body.
The weight steadily increasing
like a lover’s embrace.

I think about the earth,
one spoonful at a time,
devouring me.

The cradle of mouth around my limbs.
The ease of acceptance.

I think about childhood and hot summers and you.
I close my eyes.

I sleep.

“Dirt” is previously published in Madness Muse Press (2020).

Fly

Katrina Kaye

I am no longer
a hatchling in need
of the soft
wing of your embrace.

I grew under
gaze and care
and now

stand on feet,
balanced,
strong.

This sky is vast,
it will dance for me.

You don’t need to
cradle me in the basket
of your arms.

I am bird
with wings expanded,
breath in lungs.

Let me fly.

“Fly” is previously published in To Anyone Who has Ever Loved a Writer (2014).